The Stranger

You’d never notice me on the street,

Passing through the crowds.

Little chance we’ll ever meet

Here or in the clouds.

I’m the stranger as you pass,

Of the numbers I’m the last,

You’ll never see me next to you,

Never speak to me the truth.

Invisible to the eye,

One of many passing by,

With a story deep inside,

With a tale I’ll never write.

Just a random number in your life,

You’ll never tell me of your strife,

But to be honest I’d still listen

To the secrets you hold within.

A heart big enough to hurt,

You’ll never know just what I’m worth,

But I’ll still see you in your lane,

Even if I never know your name.

Wish I could have your interest and passion too;

Wish I could spend more time just with you.

Wish you’d tell me more about you,

And that I could share too.

Life has a habit of getting in the way,

And age creeps up each and every day.

To that regard I wish we could be young,

When responsibility was little and life was fun.

Grapes in a cycle of work and chores

Makes me seem like such a bore.

When I was younger I lived much more

Because stress is not what life is for.

But now we sit all day and toil

And by night the mood is spoiled.

I want so badly just to hold you tight,

Feeling your warmth all through the night.

Instead I’m wracked with feelings and thoughts

That leave me solemn and distraught.

But perhaps if we could just live a bit more

I could share more of what this life is for.

There must be more to life than this;

More than watching and making a wish.

More than sitting around whole time flies by,

More than laying in bed and wondering why.

The things I have to do to make it come true

Are more than I’m comfortable to do

So I bide my time and try to keep hope

That one day life will be more than a joke.

You don’t want to know the thoughts that go through my head

Late at night before I go to bed.

Things I wonder about but never want to ask or know,

Things that came and went a long time ago.

Why, I’ll never understand

But happen regardless of what I comprehend.

I wish I could just let it all go

And live even with what I do or don’t know.

I missed the days where passion was exciting

Because I was always too busy hiding.

But you lived them and apparently had your fill

Because now the interest is no longer your will.

I try not to let it get me down

But sometimes it’s the only thought around.

And here I sit once again

Wishing I had known you back then.

I feel like I lost you somewhere along the way,

As if everything changed all of a sudden one day.

It went from intrigue to disinterest over the years

To the point where you don’t reassure me when I shed a tear.

I want the infatuation back,

Where you don’t judge me for what I lack

And each new day was an opportunity

Instead of practicing futility.

I miss you like the flowers miss the sun

Before I said things that could never be undone

And we still stared into each other’s eyes,

And our romance was still so full of surprise.

I miss you like the oceans miss the moon,

Because together is always over too soon.

I hope someday we’ll find each other again

And perhaps a new chapter of our marriage will begin.

The Abyss

Staring out over the cliff’s edge,

Staring into silence..

What do you think about

When you have no reason to hide it?

Do you regret

Or maybe have some hope?

Or is it self deprecating,

Like life is one big joke?

A whirlwind of feelings and thoughts

Pass in an instant, all for naught.

For in a moment I’ll return

To the normalcy I’ve earned,

And nothing will have made a mark;

No clarity to light a spark.

But in that moment I am free

And my mind cherishes that liberty.

For we are but thoughts,

You and I;

Memories and moments

Which pass in the blink of an eye.

A million flowers couldn’t express what I feel for you,

How a love like this happens to so few,

How my heart aches very second we’re apart,

How I knew you were the one from the very start.

My only wish in this world is that I could’ve found you sooner

Instead of floundering through life searching for something purer.

I had a feeling you were out there somewhere,

And kept my hope alive that life would take me there.

Because I’d give back every experience if you could’ve been my first,

How any other love I felt could never quench my heart’s thirst

Because you are truly the only one for me;

The only one I want for all of eternity.

And once this life is over I’ll still be by your side

Through life and death only in you I can confide.

My love, my soulmate, I swear these words are true,

For all my life I’ve only ever wanted you.

I sometimes dream of romance,

Of being madly in love;

I’d thank the heavens –

The moon and stars above.

But life likes to trick you,

To make you think the best,

Then pulls the ground from under you

Until you’re just like the rest.

Up by until now I had hope

And dreamt of the days

When the kids go off to college

And we could have our way.

Bits not all fairy tale,

Even though that’s sometimes true;

Life can be wicked, and brutal too.

I wish I could know you the way I want to;

Know you the way I feel I used to.

But even then it was never complete

Because you never disclosed the feelings you keep.

I wish I could talk without fear of emotional reprisal,

But now it’s like I have to be in constant denial.

I wish you admired me for the strengths I do have,

Instead of focusing on the weaknesses so bad.

I wish you loved me the way I love you;

There is not one thing for you I wouldn’t do.

But it seems once you feel wronged,

Any chance to redeem myself is long gone.

I wish you could realize I have problems you don’t

Instead of only believing in what you know.

And I wish you still cared and wanted to listen

Instead of shutting me out with such repetitive insistence.

It hurts to know you’re so unforgiving

After all from me you’ve been given,

And now that I feel so beaten down

You constantly feel the need to kick me on the ground.

For better or worst must have to you no meaning,

Even after all the times on my shoulder you’ve been leaning.

It hurts knowing that your faith is gone

When problems like this to solve can take so long.

I’m sorry that you’ve given up on me

And that all you have is eternal scrutiny.

I thought we were a forever kind of love,

But apparently my name is nothing but mud.