I wish I could know you the way I want to;
Know you the way I feel I used to.
But even then it was never complete
Because you never disclosed the feelings you keep.
I wish I could talk without fear of emotional reprisal,
But now it’s like I have to be in constant denial.
I wish you admired me for the strengths I do have,
Instead of focusing on the weaknesses so bad.
I wish you loved me the way I love you;
There is not one thing for you I wouldn’t do.
But it seems once you feel wronged,
Any chance to redeem myself is long gone.
I wish you could realize I have problems you don’t
Instead of only believing in what you know.
And I wish you still cared and wanted to listen
Instead of shutting me out with such repetitive insistence.
It hurts to know you’re so unforgiving
After all from me you’ve been given,
And now that I feel so beaten down
You constantly feel the need to kick me on the ground.
For better or worst must have to you no meaning,
Even after all the times on my shoulder you’ve been leaning.
It hurts knowing that your faith is gone
When problems like this to solve can take so long.
I’m sorry that you’ve given up on me
And that all you have is eternal scrutiny.
I thought we were a forever kind of love,
But apparently my name is nothing but mud.